Scott’s Water


It’s Not Your Water, It’s Scott’s Water!


When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you US Fish and Wildlife Officer, Scott Pruitt, then you’re generally screwed because everything Scott says is right and don’t you ever forget – It’s Not Your Water, It’s Scott’s Water!

For a limited time you can commemorate the destruction of Lake Freeman, it’s businesses and residents’ homes, via FWS Officer Scott Pruitt by sending a limited edition bottle of lake water to yourself, your friends, or your favorite public official! Includes a certificate of authenticity!

After nearly 100 years of keeping Lake Freeman and Lake Shafer level, US Fish and Wildlife Officer Scott Pruitt intervened and mandated that the water flow leaving the Oakdale Dam be maintained to a specific cubic foot per second to protect an endangered mussel species below the dam on the river.

This mandate, later proven to have no scientific merit, means that without significant rain, the NIPSCO dam will continue to let water out of Lake Freeman until it is dried up, and then out of Lake Shafer to comply.

Certificate of Authenticity

Scott’s Water is bottled by hand at the epicenter of his destruction – The Madam Carroll.  Each order of Scott’s Water includes a certificate of authenticity – explaining the background and absurdity of Scott’s mandate.


Send a Bottle to Your Favorite Legislator

This coveted water comes in a 16.9 oz collectors edition bottle – perfect for display in your office, or perhaps the office of someone you would like to educate regarding this tragedy. Phone calls and emails not getting you anywhere? Send them a bottle (or 20) of Scott’s Water! With today’s purchase, you’ll have the option to send a bottle of Scott’s Water directly to your favorite legislator!

Choose from these top public officials:

    • Monticello Mayor Cathy Gross
    • State Senator Brian Buchanan
    • State Representative Don Lehe
    • US Representative Jim Baird
    • US Senator Todd Young
    • US Senator Mike Braun

Don’t forget to grab one of these commemorative bottles for yourself! Who wouldn’t want to forget the economic, environmental and infrastructure devastation over the last 2 years! Other popular shipping destinations include family, friends and members of the media!

Contact Scott

What can you actually do with Scott’s water? Great question. No one knows. It’s his water. But rest assured that we will include contact information for Scott himself so you can personally call and ask what the hell is going on.


Limited Supply

Act today! The water in Lake Freeman has a finite supply, and when Scott wants it, he takes it. No telling when Lake Freeman will dry up again!


In stock

SKU: 3101321 Category:


Scott’s Water is gluten free, but is definitely not for human consumption. Scott’s Water isn’t even for animal consumption – unless you are a mussel in the Tippecanoe River. You cannot run a business with Scott’s Water. Don’t even think about trying to retire or enjoying your twilight years on Scott’s Water, that just won’t happen.

To ensure maximum effectiveness upon arrival of your package, each purchase or bottle of Scott’s Water is individually shipped in its own box! Shipments typically ship out within 48 hours and include a tracking number for you to keep an eye on your precious cargo.

Additional information

Weight 1.45625 lbs
Dimensions 3.75 × 3.75 × 9 in